12 February, 2014


The littles and I spent all of this morning wandering around town, but when we left the house I didn't realise it was only in the 30's. 

Our destination was the Harbour, because we've only been there a few times this year since moving to the other end of town and it is possibly my favourite place in St Andrews.

We said some words to the swans while Sebastian told us the type of each boat and Philippa pointed to the water.

None of us could feel our toes and we talked the whole walk home about having hot berry tea and rice cakes and cucumbers when we got inside.

But the cold is invigorating, the air is salty and fresh, and being outside here just feels healthy. Sometimes I wonder if I'll lose my toes from the cold but then it melts away the second I step in our heat-box house and I'm left with a comforting warmth coupled with consuming exhaustion. Rewarding, fulfilling. 

Every inhale is fresh, salty air that cleanses my lungs and revives my soul. It's hard to be bothered by anything when I'm walking in this air. It just feels different than any air I've breathed. Even in the blowing rain it's quite something and the littles are learning to just laugh at it as they choke on gusts of heavy winds.

Nearly frozen, we got to the bottom of the thirty stairs outside our house and we all sighed. I tried to tell the biggest ones that it would warm them up to climb, and so they did, and I got to the top with the baby on my hip and found the door locked and I had no key to open it.

I turned around to breathe but I wish I'd said a prayer for patience, and there was Peter walking through the gate. Somehow he always knows when I need him most because he is always there. I explained the simple situation and he calmly squeezed the littles as he tried to warm them, checked the back door, and called maintenance for a spare key. We waited. The littles cried about cold noses but the excitement had me sweltering-- ever since I started breastfeeding my body temperatures have seemed so extreme. I buried my chilled hands in my deep coat pockets and there it was-- a ring of two small keys.

So we unlocked the doors and laughed while the kids cried harder because we weren't waiting for the maintenance man after all, and they were cold. Did I mention they were "so freezin'"?

We filled tummies and thawed toes in front of a big, blowing heater and now it's nap time and it's just me in this quiet old house. The sky is low and heavy with rain and the wind is roaring but the fire beside me is louder.

Life is so full-- of heartache and sadness and colds walks in bitter winds and rain. But it's full of other things too, a lot fuller. New mercies, provision, grace in abundance, faithfulness, steadfast, redeeming love. I shall not be in want.

In the time I've taken to write this the rain has picked up to a fierce blowing so that it's hard to see out the windows. It's wild and glorious and I don't think we'll leave the house for quite some time.

1 comment:

  1. Angela, your posts are so encouraging to me! I realize I'm not the only one who goes out not realizing how cold it is or the only one locking myself out of the house. You are such a wonderful mama and it's because you make the best out of a negative situation and see the beauty in all things! Your children will be blessed by that.