22 September, 2015


This post is for Katharina, who was traumatically born into the world and struggled for her life and suffered apnea attacks and a spinal tap and endless tests, and was hooked to feeding tubes and every machine a NICU knows but conquered it all and turns f o u r next week.

My oldest girl turns four!

It took me three solid years to be willing to tell just anyone how awful our twins' birth was. Philippa's home birth was healing for both Peter and me in many ways, and it wasn't until long after that that I started to reconcile myself with the fact that despite what we hoped and wanted and believed for my twin delivery, things didn't go according to how anyone would want.

It was years before I embraced the fact that in a final, desperate moment my midwife forced her arm elbow-deep inside me to pull Katharina down into my birth canal to be delivered by forceps. I had blood pressure higher than any of the nurses had ever witnessed, I suffered placental abruption and nearly bled out and lost this girl who miraculously turns four next week.

Four seems like a pretty big deal to me, especially when I consider she almost wasn't here for a single day.

I wanted to single her out and do something special for her, just with her, despite her being attached to and sharing a birthday with her twin brother. Over the weekend I asked her if she'd like to take her favourite dress and flower crown to the park and have me take some pretty photos before she turns four. Oh, the excitement and pure joy!

These photos perfectly encompass who she is right now at 6-days-shy-of-four-years-old. I didn't ask her to do a single thing for these, she just wandered around from wildflower patch to wildflower patch, collecting enough for a satisfactory bouquet. We didn't bring a book, a blanket, a doll. She's just so simply content, so naturally beautiful.  She's tender and quiet and gentle.

Her heart is about as big as they come.

Little Kitty, we're so thankful you're with us today and overjoyed at the little lady you are.

18 September, 2015


It's Friday!

It's Friday! I wake up with such adrenaline Friday mornings, and gratefulness that we've made it through another week. Most weeks the days feel super long, with Peter being long gone by time we've all woken, but the weeks still mysteriously fly by and I have yet to determine the cause of that.

The littles and I like to pack a few days full of adventuring, nature-walking, picnicking (while we still can!), and leave a few days to be "home days" to recharge, bake bread, watch a show in bed, and work our way through library reads. By time Friday comes, we are usually pretty wiped and eager for family walks and a general slowness.

Our weekends with Peter are so incredibly treasured. They're like this sacred, untouchable oasis where we are extremely particular about what we choose to allow into it. It's a good way to be, I think. The littles deem the time between his Friday night train arriving to bedtime Sunday evening as "Papa Time" and each new one approaches with about as much excitement as Christmastime.

The littles and I had a sweet time this morning, though all we went out with the intention of doing was take suits to the dry cleaners and donate some old summer clothes. After dropping off donations we stopped in a new favourite place-- Plumtree Cafe, which is a privately owned, totally child-friendly cafe that sells local honey, organic fruit juices, paninis and all sorts of things we love.

Moseying our towards home we happened upon our local butcher where we bought the kittens chicken livers for their raw food diet, the cutest greengrocer, and a florist where I was tempted to buy them out of hydrangeas.

Katharina and I have this honest way of speaking when we want something we know we can't or shouldn't have. Last week she said to me while helping to roll balls of cookie dough, "I'm really tempted to eat this ball of dough right now." But she didn't! so you can imagine the guilt I felt even contemplating a whole bucket of hydrangeas with two enormous bouquets of sunflowers on my dining room table at home. :)

Next week I hope to take some time to write about Peter's job and a bit of life in general. Tonight we've got reservations at Jamie Oliver's Italian restaurant and I feel I need a nap or else the red wine will slay me.

Some photos from our day below, before my phone decided to die at 17%.

Happiest of weekends, guys! Ours is looking like sunshine!